Cooking Chinese food

Last couple of days, there has been an overload of chinese food. Its been a while actually that i had chinese food. And so when i got back late one night, and didnt feel like throwing the pre-cooked-packaged food into the microwave, i decided order delivery. After a few moments of indecisions between pizza and chinese, i decided on my favourite nearby chinese food restaurant.

Talking about indecisions, what is it about food and making decisions ? I could keep that up for about an hour, deciding between cuisines. I could spend quite a bit of time salivating about chinese, while i really feel like bread, or may be something deep fried. If i am able to quickly narrow down a cuisine, then it becomes an issue of what to order of the menu.

There is one good thing about chinese food, it can be dished out faster than you say kung pao chicken. The chinese invented the concept of fast food. It seems like a formula, all worked out, even down right to the number of peanuts in the kung pao.

But for me, things are not that simple. I rarely, order stuff from a menu, without adding or taking stuff out from the dish i ordered. Like ordering, kung pao without the celery, but add carrots and green pepers or onions or something. I even tried once to order kung pao, made with shredded chicken instead of diced chicken. After a few moments of confusion and bewilderment for the person taking the order, i had to say, 'you know what, i will have the curry chicken instead'. But for all this, all she did was add two strokes to the character she had already drawn on the order form.

This process actually creates a bigger spectacle at a Burger King or McDonalds. The person taking the order, usually a student at the local college, after listening to my 'chicken sandwich add tomatoes and onions', would confirm it back,

'so you dont want the mayo and the lettuce'
'no, i want the mayo and lettuce'
'how about the tomatoes and onions'
'yes that too'
now, the person is even more clueless, because they cant find all the buttons to press on the machine to punch in the order. But they know that i have to pay a price for this indiscretion.

'sir, that will cost you extra'
'ok'

At this point it could get very confusing, because now the issue is how much to charge for this. And so i could be charged a meagre 25 cents, to upto a dollar for a slice of tomato and few strands of onions.

Well, back to the chinese, i dont want to digress and dilute their moment of glory. So i started the mid-week with Mongolian chicken (not on the menu) and Schezwan chicken from the delivery. Followed by Kung Pao on thursday afternoon, and spicy orange chicken for dinner the same night. Friday offered a break. Only to land up in another not-so-nearby chinese place tonight for a dose of curry chicken.

Why so much chicken? Well thats the only meat i eat in the US. I could easily give it up, but then i am not a great fan of veggies either, specially the chinese kind. For some reason, brocolli, snow peas, bamboo shoots, celery and water chestnuts are not my kind of food. But why the hell, so much of chinese. I have no answer, except that i was a guest sometimes and a host sometimes.

But, no complains, except that i wish i had my own chinese restaurant. I could then have kung pao chicken, made with sliced chicken (big flat pieces), with spicy kung pao sauce, peanuts with a choice of onions and green peppers, or spinach and carrots. If only i could teach the chinese to cook chinese food.