Monday, August 31, 2015

Parding your beggon, Kister Monductor !!

These two lines i recalled from my days at school. But didnt remember much else. All i remember was that the poem we learnt, rather say we read, was very funny. And "Kister Monductor", was a phrase thrown about for sometime.

Thanks to the WWW, all of the world's library is available to you at the click of a few buttons on the keyboard. And lo and behold, i stumble upon "The Muddlehead".

The Muddlehead - ( Ogden Nash )
I knew a man from Petushkee
As muddleheaded as could be.
He always got mixed up with clothes;
He wore his mittens on his toes,
Forgot his collar in his haste,
And tied his tie around his waist.
What a muddle head was he,
That man who lived in Petushkee!
They told him as he went about:
"You've got u'r coat on inside out!"
And when they saw his hat, they said:
"You've put a saucepan on your head!"
What a muddle head was he,
That man who lived in Petushkee!
At lunch he scratched a piece of bread,
And spread some butter on his head.
He put his walking stick to bed,
And he stood in the rack instead.
What a muddle head was he,
That man who lived in Petushkee!
He walked upto a tram one day
And climbed in very sprightly;
Conductor thought that he would pay,
Instead he said politely:
"Parding your beggon,
Kister Monductor,
I'm off for a week's vacation;
I stop you to beg your cramway tar
As soon as we reach the station."
Conductor got a fright
And didn't sleep that nite.
What a muddle head was he,
That man who lived in Petushkee!
He rushed into the first café:
"A railway ticket please, One way."
And at the ticket office said:
"A slice of tea and a cup of bread."
What a muddle head was he,
That man who lived in Petushkee!
He passed the man collecting the fares,
And entered a carriage awaiting repairs,
That stood on a siding, all by itself.
Half of his luggage, he put on a shelf,
The rest on the floor, his coat on his lap
And settled himself for a bit of a nap.
All at once he raised his head,
"I must have been asleep"- he said.
"Hey, what stop is this?" he cried
"Petushkee," a voice replied.
Once again he closed his eyes
And dreamt he was in Paradise.
When he woke, he looked about,
Raised the window and leaned out.
"I've seen this place before, I believe,
Is it Kharkov or is it Kiev?
Tell me where I am," he cried.
"In Petushkee", a voice replied.
And so again he settled down
And dreamt the world was upside down
When he woke, he looked about,
Raised the window and looked out.
"I seem to know this station too,
Is it Nalchik or Baku?
Tell me what its called," he cried.
"Petushkee' a voice replied.
Up he jumped: "It's a crime!
I've been riding all this time,
And here I am where I began!
That's no way to treat a man!'
What a muddle head was he,
That man who lived in Petushkee!
These words, now are more accessible to me. And i can come back here to check the lines of one of the more likable poems i have read.

Sunday, July 19, 2015


Bāhubali, the one with strong arms, is the latest movie from director, Rajamouli. I have been tracking this director and his movies, ever since i heard of Magadheera. That superlative experience, was followed up by another astounding storytelling, this time about a fly, Eega (or Naan-E, in tamil). After these two i was thirsting for more.

Bāhubali, proves that Rajamouli is a master storyteller. A story, that we have heard variations off, a million times, or another interpretation of the epics Mahabharata and Ramayana, had to meet this craftsman and turn into this grandeur. He carved out characters, and their portrayal by actors who have managed to breathe life into them. In the first part, that i have seen twice till date, Sivagami and Kattappa stood out.

Sivagami was essayed by Ramya Krishnan. The queen Sivagami, her grit, her love and her justness all showcased so beautifully. Subtlety matters most, to make the greatest impacts. And Ramya Krishnan and her director, showcase that in their execution of this character.

Kattappa, the faithful slave, was breathed into life by Sathyaraj. Sathyaraj is no lightweight when it comes to acting. However, with a lesser director, he would have played out a very usual and often seen impersonation. This time however, he picked and chose his dramatics well, effectively using them to show us a Kattappa we have never seen before.  

Every other character in the story played their part well too. When you watch the movie, you saw the story, you saw Shivu or Mahendra Baahubali, you saw Bhallala Deva, Avanthika, Devasena and the rummaging barbarian king. There was no Prabhas, no Rana, no Tamanna, and no Anushka.

The star of the show, was none other than Rajamouli.

Waiting eagerly for the next .....

Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Swamy vs Arnab - Calling Names

I clipped this video from NewLaundry's Clothesline program. Its a sad commentary of what news reporting has come to in India. Today the proliferation of 24x7 TV News Channels, has resulted in a dearth of quality news to report. I mean, think about, there isnt enough news in the world to keep one 24x7 channel going for a full day, and then how can it feed 20 or 100 more channels.

Well, then you begin calling each other names. Or as a shameless TV host, you let others call you names on a nationally broadcast news.

Arnab Goswami is known to make a fool of himself, and given his self-indulgent attitude, he probably practices this looking into a mirror. So, it is not unusual to find him making loud mouthed statements and drawing flak on TV. But this is new territory for Arnab himself.

You laugh, but one part of you must seriously think that this sad. Really Sad !


Sunday, January 18, 2015

One napkin too many ?

How many napkins (paper tissue) should one take? I know how many to use, but how do I know how many I would need when I am pulling them from the dispenser?
I usually take one too many and then I am in a conundrum - to return or throw the perfectly clean and unused paper. 
I wish there was an app for that !?

Monday, January 12, 2015

Bhagwan Hai Kahan Re Tu

Bhagwan Hai Kahan Re Tu ! Hey God ! Where are you ?
If anyone has any doubts on the sincerity of this movie, and its position about one religion or the other should listen to this song.

Hai suna ye poori dharti tu chalata hai
Meri bhi sun le araj mujhe ghar bulata hai
Bhagwan hai kahan re tu
Hey Khuda hai kahan re tu

Such a soul stirring songs, that it should remove any hatred that you might otherwise have developed (if at all) while watching the movie. Clearly people who hate this movie, havent watched it. Fake God Men are not the same a God. For that matter, even 'real' God Men are not the same as God. They are, at best, described as agents. They may do good things, they may serve the society and help rid us of evil, but that does not make them Gods to be worshiped.

But that is exactly what we human beings end up doing. We look at these messiahs and then convert them into Gods. We then look around and hurt those who dont believe in these messiahs. People who do not accept one particular messiah are considered non-believers of God! Think of the foolishness we perpetuate.

Before coming to America, i used to think that this evil division of humanity, was a facet of Indian culture. Now i understand that is an universal truth. Education has no relevance, in fact sometimes they are easier fooled than the poor ignorant masses. And we all end up fighting each other. Christianity vs Islam vs Hinduism vs Jewism vs Buddhism vs Scientology vs Atheism. Unfortunately the people who get hurt are Christians, Muslims, Hindus, Jews, Buddhists, Scientologists, Atheists etc. More so the commom folks, who are simply happy worshiping anyone who would deliver to them of their daily bread.

Thursday, November 06, 2014

Running Water @ Starbucks

The next time you pick up coffee at a Starbucks, lean in by the counter from where you pick up your coffee. You will notice a small stainless steel well, with a few utensils, and running a tap.

This tap is never shut. I spoke to the manager at this store, and she explained that "it is our policy". Our being Starbucks. It is the corporate Starbucks policy to keep this tap running constantly. The water is wasted, as it simply runs down into a drain.

I observed this for the first time a year or two ago. I also noticed that some stores (i dont quite recall now, it may even have been that one store where i saw it ), do shut off this tap. So maybe a store is also violating this policy. Starbucks, you may want to look into that !

I think this makes for a good physics or math problem for students. To compute the volume of water that can run thru a pipe that is about 5" cm wide.

On a more serious note, some idiot at Starbucks need a whack at the back of his or her head. What the fsck were you thinking ?

Saturday, October 04, 2014

Swachh Bharat - Amma in Jail, K Company to follow ?

Amma is in jail now. While all the crocodile tears are being shed by her sycophants, its clear that these creatures are probably the most happiest to see her in a confined space. As part of the Swachh Bharat, it would be nice if the cleanup continued and threw the K-Company crew also into jail soon.

Between the two, my sympathies and support are with Jaya. However, that is no excuse to diminish the punishment. If anything at all, it is far delayed, and far too small a deterrence for the people in high places.
I wish the law would know turn its wheels much faster and quickly wrap up the 2G, BSNL & Aircel-Maxis scams. All said and done, we are so quick to turn politicians into demi-gods (like Modi now), and then soon let them fry in boiling oil in hell, but the money-men and industrialists who fund and finance these are never touched and almost always get away scot-free. Why ? The 2G scam reeks from the foul smell of Reliance, Tata and Airtel, all now dissolved and mostly forgotten in the gray matter we call 'broadcast news'. The Nira Radia tapes also show a conspiracy to appoint a Communications Ministers of someone's liking. Nira is in and out of prison, but others who were talking to her; life goes on.
Praying and hoping for a Swachh Bharat !